Uncoupling, separation or divorce – whichever way you put it, it is often the saddest, most stressful time in any relationship. And with divorce rates on the rise and almost half of these happening within the first 10 years of marriage, it is something more and more of us have to deal with.

Whilst Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s “conscious uncoupling” splattered all over the media at the moment, the pair have got away to maintain their privacy and allow them some downtime. Gwyneth wrote “…while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been.”

Like Gwyneth and Chris, for many couples it is changes in circumstance, lifestyle and interests that cause separation and not necessarily a broken or unloving relationship. However, whatever the cause of separation, the procedures involved to separate a lifestyle that has been led as a couple in two can take its toll. Getting away, relaxing with some downtime before tackling that bureaucratic untangling is not a bad idea at all.

 Separation means separating council taxes, property, all financial accounts, utility bills, insurance and benefits. Alongside this physically separating into separate housing, moving location changing doctors, dentists and so on. There is a lot of tedious paper work, and a lot of changes happen very quickly, all in a whirlwind of emotional exhaustion, anger, stress, relief and frustration.

Getting through such a difficult time is hard. But Gwyneth and Chris will benefit from their healthy lifestyles. It may seem like it should be the last thing on your mind, but maintaining good health and looking after your body physically can immeasurable help cope with the exhaustion of separation.

If Gwyneth’s recipe seem too kale heavy recipes, or juicing doesn’t float your boat – the main priority is not to converge to unhealthy amounts of alcohol or rely on food for emotional support. Overeating and binging on alcohol may seem like it makes you feel better. But getting regular exercise, eating foods that give you energy will boost your body and help maintain help mental stability and wellbeing.

The change in situation often leaves people feeling a sense of loneliness and can mean adapting to spending a lot more time alone, particularly when children are involved. Most of the time, in reality, co-parenting means going from living in a house full of hustle and bustle to living alone most of the time, with the children over a couple of times a week.

Joining a club, pursuing a passion or participating in community activities is a great way to overcome this sense of loneliness. It provides a chance to make new friends and focus on something you enjoy. It also gives you the opportunity to talk to others about your emotions and what you are going through.

Talking through feelings can help you deal with what the situation better, especially talking to someone who has been through a similar thing.  Everyone has read Gwyneth’s mantras and spiritual guidance, and a lot of us have rolled our eyes. But in reality speaking to someone, seeking advice and awareness of your feelings and emotions are critical to dealing with dramatic change in life, whether this be a professional or a friend.

Finally, after separation it can feel like it is time to make big changes and turn over new leafs. But amongst all the change, decisions can be made hastily and whilst the mind is not focused. This is something to bear in mind, because whilst separation offers new horizons it can take some adapting to and in time can change your perspective and priorities in life.

There is no easy way around uncoupling, separation or divorce. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Whilst being a big time actress or rock star has its perks, it is clear Gwyneth and Chris did not make their decision to part lightly and will go through the emotions just like the rest of us.